I have faced various difficulties in my life. Some were just plain difficult. Some were extremely difficult. Some excruciatingly difficult. But nothing has been more painful than when my wife left to LA. For her brother’s wedding. Leaving me with my two kids. Alone. Raising kids by myself as the primary caregiver is the craziest thing of all time. It’s just nutz. It’s challenging and demanding in every way possible. Here’s just a few of the challenges:
1. I never have personal time. My kids are always just there, constantly making some type of noise. And for some reason since there mother left their bedtime is now 10 pm.
2. I don’t have any personal space. Anywhere I go my kids are there – bam! To another room – bam! Kitchen – bam! Living room – 100% bam!
3. I don’t even feel like I own my body anymore. I’m constantly getting climbed on, jumped on, sat on, pinched, kissed, hugged.
4. My speech throughout the whole day is baby-talk. I have no adults to speak to. I need humans!
5. Forget about reading a book – I’ve read the same line 20 times.
6. It’s like gangland, there’s always going to be fights.
7. When you are the only one changing diapers, you wonder, why did G-d do this where we have to change human beings??
8. I keep thinking what my purpose in life is? Is this what I have been made for? There’s an existential bewilderment of what the meaning of life is.
Not to mention . . .
9. Constantly cleaning
10. Shopping is a disaster
11. The fridge is packed but I have no idea what to cook.
12. Clean clothes getting dangerously low.
13. Folding laundry takes forever!
14. Forget about being appreciated!
I consider myself an active parent in the house. I do help. But the burden of running a house has never fallen on me. It’s ridiculously hard!!!!!! I have an unending appreciation for any woman – it’s just hard work – that is constant. And it’s a lot of physical labor too. Kids can get heavy! And they don’t always listen so you are constantly doing psychology – the mental load is the heaviest!
Don’t get me wrong. Having kids is the greatest blessing. Spending all this personal time has been something really special for me. I wish I could have 10 more kids! My point is not about kids. It’s just to show appreciation for the woman who run homes. It’s the hardest job that can be the most easily overlooked.
2021