Can you teach someone to understand you?
I thought about this for many years and after all this time – I think the answer is no – I don’t believe you can. It doesn’t mean someone can’t come to understand you. But it does mean you can’t teach them to. No matter what you say and all the different ways you say it and how hard you try to explain it – it’s not something that can be done. In fact, the more words you have to use to explain yourself, it’s like trying to chase the sun. The situation cascades into hopelessness the more you run.
I think the reason is because a human being is not something that can be taught. He is not a concept. He is not a piece of information covered in flesh and bones. He can be right there in front of you but he can’t be seen. You can keep getting closer to who he is but he always remains lightyears away. Maybe just like G-d is present and yet invisible – so too is the human. He stands before you but is hidden. This explains the futility of casting judgment on people; because all we can see is what they do but not who they are.
So how do we come to understand someone? Maybe it’s kind of like learning how to swim. In swimming, only a general, abstract knowledge can be conveyed; some technical pointers. But to actually learn how to swim, it’s something you have to go through. It’s an experience. The same thing with people. We have to experience someone and ‘go through them,’ so to speak. We have to look past their presence and be immersed in their essence. That’s a formidable undertaking- and takes a lot of selflessness, a lot of patience, and probably a lot of love too.
2021