”It was meant to be” or “there is a reason for everything” are not expressions that are suppose to make you passive. On the contrary, they make you introspective and active, and let you know that no matter how much the hurt, no matter how great the loss, your pain is not in vain. That your loss was not a matter of chance or happenstance, that their is a loving creator that pushes and pulls you, caries and guides you, and that the pain you feel is not for naught but for a reason.
These expressions imply that there is a G-d of love who fashioned you in love; that your very existence implies that you matter. And that above all, when you cry, He counts your tears; when you hurt, He feels your pain; and when you feel you are alone you are anything but alone. If the events in your life happen for a reason, than do not despair, reflect on your life, think about what you can learn, how you can change, and what you can do to change your situation.
Life is deeply purposeful; to suggest that the loss in our life and the pain in our hearts are due to a cruel unconcerned world compounds our pain, magnifies sadness, and trivializes our loss.
The Bible says that G-d speaks in the “Still, silent voice.” The sages bring out that this means the voice you can hear only if you pay attention. G-d is the greatest of all teachers, most articulate and eloquent, so take ALL the good and bad in your life and read them, and hear them, as the beautiful, yet oh so quiet whisper of your Father in Heaven.
2013