Growing up in a Middle Eastern culture, I was exposed to unhealthy views of women. And then growing up in Western culture, which although it bewilderingly professes women’s rights, I was exposed in some ways to even worse views of women. When I became an Orthodox Jew, I was introduced to a whole different way of thinking about women. Every culture has an explicit philosophy; if you ask them what they think, they will give recycled, stale viewpoints that’s become catechisms of the current generation. But then there is the silent philosophy where it’s unspoken but acknowledged, which really captures the attitude of a generation.
Middle Eastern culture is pretty explicit about some of the demeaning ways they view women; no need for elaboration. Western culture is complex. Because there has been a lot of progress on women’s rights; and thank G-d we live in a generation where men, on the whole, are good people and I do believe treat women decently. But besides the publicly proffered platitudes regarding women’s rights, anybody paying attention to the news see’s that behind closed doors, women were mistreated, to say the very least. There is still a toxic, unspoken culture festering that casts women in a degrading manner.
The Torah has an entire philosophy about man and woman. And there are obvious critiques the Torah has on the nature of a woman, just like it has on men, but on whole, it extols the nature of women. The Torah recognizes every woman’s full humanity; their divine image; their elevated status in contradistinction to men; their unique individuality; their deep dignity; etc. All of this goes without saying.
But even more than that, once I became immersed in the culture of Torah Judaism, and I got to glean what people really think, not what the public positions were, it was revolutionary. And above all, it was beautiful.
I guess this is on my mind because my daughter is always on my mind. And I think about who she’s going to marry, and how they are going to treat her, and I hope whatever culture she marries into, they will treat her the way she deserves to be treated. The way every woman deserves to be treated.
2021