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Unmask Me

Unmask Me

I wear a mask
So I can hide 
Scared to show 
The person inside
So I wear a disguise
I dress in an elaborate lie 
While I don a smile 
bearing the darkness of the night 

I wonder 

If people know me 
Would they still talk to me 
Be friends with me 
Would my family love me
Will my other half want me 
Won’t the whole world disown me 
Wont my loved ones loath me 
Won’t my people shun me
Oh woe to me

I hide me from me 
Emabarrsed of who I am
Disappointed in who I’m not but could be 
Bad habits keep me from being free
Negative traits mock my humanity 
How many times did I lack temerity
How many times did my life show the opposite of purity 
Strived to be G-dly but fell short of being worth my animality 
Ask G-d to save me 

But then I realized 
I didn’t see with it my own eyes
But I felt that maybe I don’t have to live a lie
It is true 
I am flawed 
That maybe my life doesn’t deserve to be something people applaud 
That I try so hard but it seems for naught 
That I am broken filled with fault 
That so much pain is part of my lot

but yet am I not the creation of Gd
By my very being a work of art 
That I may or may not be sharp or smart
But That I have a heart
That I’m a human 
And if you tear me apart
You’ll see that I am different not the same 
Or similar or parallel 
Not identical 
But distinct and particular 
Unique and peculiar 
Distinguishable 
An individual  

For When G-d creates
He does deliberately  
He acts Intentionally 
Affectionately 
Poetically 
What He creates He creates Perfectly 
Never accidentally 
His creations cannot be superfluous but 
Are an absolute Necessity 

Therefore the world might not notice me
I might be a speck of dust on the surface of infinity 
Floating as a drop through the sea of eternity 
Where my reality is temporality 
My essence rendered unnecessary 
My being being merely discretionary 

But the world can’t live without me 
The universe needs me 
I am here because existence turns on me

So I’m alive I can breath
If you prick me I will bleed
I can see
I can choose 
I am free
I have needs 
I am beautiful just because I am me

So I will decide to be true to me 
I will take off this mask from me

Even if the world doesn’t think I am handsome or pretty 
Even though  I  have darkness within me 
Scars that grace my face 
Bruises wrapped around my body like a lace 
That my past is there and cannot be erased
That my flaws are real and should not be embraced 
All my life I’ve been using my disguise as my hiding place 
Longing to be invisible taking up no space 
But I don’t need this mask anymore to encase my face 

I’m Unafraid 
I’m done with this Self doubt 
And self hate 
Secure that my soul can bear the burden of any weight 
I have choice to choose my own fate 

I’m free 
Created in the image of Gd
I have true inner beauty 

Unmask Me, please